10th

i promise this one a quick update =D

went to work today. Its a half day work. When back home around 1.30 pm. My mom so tired she terus tidur like a baby. I told her my plan of going out with Iskandar, Ben and Areen. We trying to make Areen happy actually since she kena grounded for 5 months and with limited budget. She went out just now because her mother let her. Hehe. Had interesting time at Summit and KFC Usj 20. Iskandar showed up abit later. Not really a whacky day for all of us because Areen sangat down. Gonna plan something better next 2 weeks

Salaam came to my crib just now! I am so happy because he’s the 2nd person after my babe Mas datang my house. Itu pun selepas aku bising kat die, die singgah melawat ‘orang tu’ and tak melawat aku . Hehe. Anyway, thank you so much Salaam. Really appreciate ko melawat aku di teratak buruk aku ni. Hopefully my family x bored u la. Hehe. Kitorg memang species ‘high’ sikit. Suke gelak2. Hehe.

Tomorrow morning, might be having breakfast with my Usjian clan. Its been a while since i meet any of them. Huhu. Before that, BASUH THE BATHROOM! hehe.

will update soon

without wax,
yours truly

9th

Quick Update!

Met Chendoy on wednesday, ate at Pizza Hut. Borak2 sikit with him. Bunyi macam dah lama tak jumpa padahal nya….(let me just keep the secret ek =P )

Met Hakim, my long lost scandal! He looks chubby, or is it because i haven’t see him for 1 years? Hehe. The look, the eyes still melts me but i’m strong enough la this time. Besides, he’s someone’s boyfriend now. Gila ape?! Haha. I don’t really click with him much compared to my other scandals because he’s very quite and shy person. He’s the first person i should say i don’t have the chemistry to drive our friendship further even though i did cried the day i knew that he already has someone special

At the same time, i met Qayum. My handsome guy friend. Hehe. Nothing much. Catching up old stories. Kutuk my ex bf @ his brother from another mother. Haha. He sent me back home

Thursday, i DID NOTHING AT ALL! seriously! Not even cleaning up my bathroom as requested by my mom. So, kena dengar die menyanyi Linkin Park, which i don’t know what song =P . Dad suggested me to follow my mom to her workplace and crossed finger that i might get a job there. I was thinking of just lay back this holiday and chilling out with friends but realizing that all my friends gonna continue study ASAP, i changed my mind and i got myself a job which i don’t know how much they gonna pay me but ok la rather than just filling up my hungry stomach and hibernated myself like a cute polar bear in Artic =P

Friday, my 1st day of working. As usual because i used to work there during the 3 months holiday. Nothing much changes except they moved to the new place which is 15 minutes to home by car compared to 5 minutes to home by walking before. Bigger place, bigger work, more people, more office politics. All i do is just key in some data in the Boss’s computer

Was planning to hangout besar-besaran after working just now but none of them answered my sms! Fuck u guys big time :X . Haha. I ended up chatting and laughing and blurred everything out with Ben when he decided to call me and accepted my hangout offer. Hehe. Iskandar x boleh keluar malam whereas Areen, huhu. She’s grounded for 5 months due to certain reasons. Kesian die. Huhu.

Might plan something tomorrow if the familia has no plan of going anywhere. Since, its gonna be half day working for me and my lovely mom, i don’t think she wanna hit the town although she really excited to watch Transformer! I wanna watch that goddamn movie! Please!!!!!

that’s it for now,
will update soon

without wax,
yours truly in making money state (ka ching!)

p/s: this is a full blog already, not a quickie update anymore. Haiya. ><!

back and kicking :D

current mood:

current song: Run by Leona Lewis

What’s up people! I’m back at my hometown y’all (terasa mcm farah la pulak, with the hip hop style…hehe. Jangan marah babe )

Reached KLIA around 6.20 pm. Had a really nasty turbulence in the flight. Seriously bad. You still terangkat even u wear a seatbelt pun. Horror gile because i never experience major turbulence before. Thank GOD that i selamat sampai dengan baiknye. One flight with Kak Kuin . She’s on her way to Terengganu, transit for 4 hours kat KLIA. Met this one person (mule2 nak address her as girl tapi last2 she’s a woman sudah…haha). Tak tanya name die ape. Macam terlupa nak tanya. Lawa orangnye. Taste Abang Tompoq untuk jadi gf (bukan bini tau, bini lain taste die…haha). Die amik TESL and continue doing Master on the same major jugak.

My dad and brother picked me up at the airport because 2 of my favourite driver can’t make it for that day. Ben got this workshop thingy he had to attend and Iskandar got class until night. Sedih dah aku. Janji je nak ambil aku balik. Poyo la korang. Belanja aku nanti ok!. Hehe. Kidding.

My dad lost weight like hell compared to the last time i saw him, which was 4 months ago. He usually lost weight when i’m gone and gain more when i’m back home. Haha. My brother was even worst. He memang kurus and tinggi but i don’t know. Haven’t seen him in a while makes me think that he lost weight yang tahap gile2 kot. My mom tunggu i kat rumah. It is good to be home. Seriously a nice feeling

My cats! They are 3 months old now. So cute bah all of them. Only 3 left. 1 got killed by kucing jantan yang memanjat masuk rumah. Haiya.

I woke up at 8.30 am on the second day. 8.30 am! Such an achievement man. haha. I supposed to follow my mom to her workplace but i didn’t. Suppose to go to my highschoolmates BBQ at Alina’s house but i had a terrible headache. The things that i did were watched Confession of Shopaholic, read Angels and Demons, sapu rumah guna penyapu lidi (gile la, i haven’t used it for quite a while…haha) and tido. That’s all for today. Kinda lazy to go out yet. hehe

Tomorrow, clean up toilet and will be meeting Chendoy at PKNS so that he can take his Kek Lapis. After that, might be just hangout around la. Will go to Maxis Centre as well, to change to Youth Club. hehe.

well, that’s all for now.

update soon enough

without wax,

rahilah

the Miri Holiday :)

These are how i spent my 13 days in Miri. Who says Miri doesn’t have anything for you? hehe. Maybe you and i are not living the same life. Your entertainment and mine are way different

16 june – Final paper finish at 3.40 pm. Went back home. Sleep. Eat. Internet. Chatting. Watched Ada Apa Dengan Cinta. Hangout and bought burger with Salaam. Girl’s talk with Liyana

17 june - Watched Definitely, Maybe. Dinner with Nadzim, Meddy, Nini, Salaam, Asfan, Abdullah, Alvin, May, Hisham at Marrybrown. Watched Terminator Salvation (fucking awesome story with horrible sound system and bulb lampu pecah, wtf!). Hangout at Rasa Segar.

18 june - Played Basketball with Syaha, Kim, Azura, Jengga, Abang, Mia, Fiza, Safiq, Afiq, Nini and Faeez Harun. Watched Mohabbatein with Tareeq, Acad, Abang, Salim and Khaleed. Played Catridge game (old school gile weh) at Mea’s. Watched If Only.

19 june – Breakfast at Nine Hole, sent Liyana to airport, sleep, taught Syafiq Afifi chemistry, Van’s and Vimel’s Beach party, beach walk with the special one, hit Thai Bar, hangout at Rasa Segar.

20 june – Dinner at Cafenika with Mia, Ezuan, Vanessa, Steve, Ariff, Sedut, Andy, Berti and Hafis Ganu. Helped Mia packing her stuff, watched Abang, Sedut, Ezuan, Berti, Hafis Ganu, Andy and Sebestian played snooker at Chin Brothers.

21 june – Met Willy and Matt, went to Bintang with Jiji, bought Big Apple, shopping at Boulevard, watched Over Her Dead Body.

22 june – Saw Makcik at ILP, went Bintang with Jiji and Nini, ate McD and Big Apple, went to Taman Awam, sent Nini to airport, watched A Lot Like Love.

23 june - sent Salaam to airport with Syaha and Kim, toured Miri Golf Club, breakfast at Nine Hole, sleep, watched Save The Last Dance 2, hangout with Andy and Syabil, watched The Count of Monte Cristo with Syabil.

24 june - watched The Oxford Murder, watched Taking Lives, laundry phase I, went to campus for Internship letter, lunch, ate ice cream, sleep, internship hunting.

25 june – out with Nina Comel, lunch at Secret Recipe, bought Big Apple, went to Imperial, potluck with Syafiq Afifi, Jiji, Deklin, Islah, Joe, Mamat, Dhimas, Hazwani, Gapam, Kenx, A’ishah, hangout with Syabil, watched Angels and Demons.

26 june – lipat baju and chilling di bilik sendiri

27 june – kemas bilik and chilling again.

28 june – laundry phase II, went to Lutong Beach with Asha and Kak Syu. Dinner at CTR. Double check everything yang patut bawak balik.

29 june – will go to campus, to airport with Nina and Syabil. yeay!

without wax,

yours truly

8th

quickie update

i am good people. thank you for the concern. will try to pull myself together. i will not fall apart now. gonna achieve my current goal, which is graduate 2 years from now. pray hard for me as i will pray for each and everyone of you

a friend told me that my previous post has alot of grammatical errors. well, that scares me more. serious shit. i can’t even right stuff in good english now? what’s happening to me? huhu. this is not good. gonna brush it more.

will going back home in 3 more days. hehe. i bet you guys are wondering what i do for the past 13 days of my holidays in miri. will give you the list later

that’s all for quickie

without wax,
yours truly in fine state

Confessions

Such an emo post. Don’t read if you don’t wanna too.

I learn alot from people around me, from the smallest tiniest thing to the biggest gigantic problems. But to my own shock, i rarely take it as an lesson learnt for myself. I’m a horrible person. I know that. I realize that. Still, i have no attempt to change it to be the new me. I started it in small scaled. Go back to appreciate Lord more than i usually do but i still feels that i lacked of something, which i can’t define what.

Is it because that i was way over the limit that i should be? Liyana told me, whatever happen to you, either it is bad or good, its been destined to happen to you even though you have the chance to choose the good way instead of the bad ones. Its called qada’ and qadar.

Therefore, is it my destiny to be the doormat? Is it my destiny to be the second girl in another guy’s life? Is it my destiny that i will have the tendency to do all the bad things? I thought choices determined your journey and pathway, later create your destiny.

Kinda scary to know each day that you are prone to do mistakes that you might or might not regret at the end of your life. People know just a surface about me. No one has really see and know me. Might just because i don’t want people to see the real me. As most of the time, i am transparent. You see me through but there are some parts insides me that opaque enough for you to really see. Great enough to know i create it by myself, unintentionally.

I always feel good when i get to help people. Either in good way or bad because i barely say no to anything that i think i can do. I will help people to that extend. Sometimes it really killing me when i don’t get anything in return of what i have done. I usually don’t take thank you as one of the rewards tho. To me thank you is just to small for whatever fuck up shit i had helped each and any of you. Call me cocky or self-centered but that’s who i am. I will never satisfied if i don’t really help people with their problem till the end.

My fucking problem is when the people i helped are the one actually destroy me, unintentionally. The one that i see don’t actually care about whatever God will punish them during the judgment day. I realize day by day, my principle towards some stuff rather changing due to different views that i got in front of my eyes. I wanna ask why to the people who did it but i think its rather personal to ask.

I know that i am such a focus person. I will defo give you 110% or more if you give me what you want from me. The main reason why i never had a problem with my studies so far until today. God still loves me that much to not take away one of the greatest feature He created in me. Being dominant as well help me survives my life today. Seriously.

I am a sinner for falling to sweet talker guy. Seriously. I can just fall down on my knees if you really know how to go sweet on me.

My latest heart breaking problem, guys that go sweet talk on me are the one that already have steady girlfriend. WTF! I used to hate that type of guy but really, i don’t know what’s got into me. Is it because i’ve been single too long or i’m just desperate enough? All i know, i don’t want to be in the relationship right now. I don’t wanna being tied to uncertainty. I had enough with Zarul on that. I don’t wanna go back to that life. That life gave all of you this Rahilah. Being too dare and bald on things that she knows gonna ruin her life but she just don’t give a fucking care because she learn that you will regret if you don’t take the chance. But what she didn’t realize until now is not all chances are good for you. YOU MUST CHOOSE THE CHANCES THAT BE GIVEN TO YOU. and yet, she never applies that AT ALL.

After all, i am too far from good now. What i wanna do is to find the missing pieces in me that i can root on so that i won’t destroy myself more than i already do.

The question now: What is the missing pieces? Where should i look for it in my almost nothing left human body?

that my friend, the thing that i try to search until today.

without wax,

yours truly in confused and unfocused state.

turn over the new leaf

Current Mood: Damn happy!

Current Song: It’s Gonna Be Me by N’SYNC (so classic..haha)

My exams are finally over people! Woot woot!

I am happy with the Chemistry paper just now. Not too hard, not too easy either. Something in the middle which i was able to answer all if given adequate of time. The invigilator was so stupid, put the timer for Civil students time. Dah my timing budget lari. Siot betul. Thank goodness i answer almost all the questions. Hopefully it’s good enough to let me pass the unit, or better yet, give me a distinction. Haha. Fluid was ok as well, not that hard, thank’s to Azam’s 1 month peliminary dreams that came true on that day. Haha. My fluid internal was good but i think i screwed up my final. So sayang man. So does PEM. Finals. I hope i do get distinction for all the units this semester. If not, just let me pass the unit. Please dearie GOD.

Well, close that chapter up. Now, socializing time

I HOPE that my dad buy my ticket on 22 June. I hope. I hope and i hope. but….

Anyway, i wanna finish up the few remaining days with:

- hangout with Abang and his Lambirian friends.

- going to Van’s beach party.

- hangout with that someone

- laundry, room cleaning

- watching movies

- watching old season of One Tree Hill

- hangout with Mia and the company

I just realize i have too many things to do. The list can just go on.

That’s all for now. Will have the reflections update on the last day in Miri

without wax,

yours truly.

Its Over

Finally, its over between us. I’m glad its over.

Its not that i wanna break up the friendship but i have to do it. I had to give the ultimatum. You left me with no other choice.

For you who has a better life now, for me who wants more than what i have now, for us to just move on completely and forget the darkest secret that we used to share.

I cherish all the memories i had with you, every single bit of it even though its faded through times. I hope you too. I know you remember more about us than me. You always amazed me when it comes to our memories.

I’m glad you finally realize that what i said before is true. We can’t go on with what we have now. We have nothing. Simply nothing in common. Not like we used to be. We shared almost everything. From a simple laugh to the most emotional day of our life. More than that, we shared the heart.

I feel sad no more because i am ready to let you go. Its been 3 years after all.

I’m glad that i am finally happy to let you go.

I’m glad that i finally found the guts to let you go.

I’m glad that i finally do not shed any single tears for you.

I’m glad that i finally undefined the love i have for you.

I’m glad that i finally can love you without being with you.

I’m glad its over.

Dearie Baby, thank you for being part of my wonderful life. You will always be remembered. You taught me how to love and how to be loved. You taught me life.

You’re the first but certainly not the last.

I love you Zahrullail bin Salehuddin. Always was and always will.

on the lighter note

TO ALL STRESS PEOPLE OUT THERE…spare a bit of your time to do this unstress thing. Have fun

This one was too good to pass up!

Pick the month you were born:
January——-I kicked
February——I loved
March——–I karate chopped
April———-I licked
May———-I jumped on
June———-I smelled
July———–I did the Macarena With
August——–I had lunch with
September—-I danced with
October——-I sang to
November—–I yelled at
December—–I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a snowman
6——-a gangster
7——-my mobile phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbour
11——-my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18——-a spoon
19—— – a smurf
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-my sister
27——-my brother
28——-an iPod
29——-a surfer
30——-a homeless guy
31——-a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1——— In my car
2 ——— On your car
3 ———– In a hole
4 ———– Under your bed
5 ———– Riding a Motorcycle
6 ——— sliding down a hill
7 ——— in an elevator
8———- at the dinner table
9 ——– In line at the bank
0 ——– in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White———because I’m cool like that
Black———because that’s how I roll.
Pink———–because I’m NOT crazy.
Red———–because the voices told me to.
Blue———–because I’m sexy and I do what I want
Green———because I think I need some serious help.
Purple———because I’m AWESOME!
Gray———-because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange——–because my family thinks I’m stupid anyway.
Brown———because I can.
Other———-because I’m a Ninja!
None———-because I can’t control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made in my comment

*mine : I karate chopped a banana at the dinner table because i’m sexy and i do what i want.

dearie boo

thank you for being there for me all the time when i need you, you never fail to do so

thank you for your odd thoughts that makes me realized being a rotten apple isn’t that bad although its not something i should proud of

thank you for being understanding and being tolerate to my stupid behaviors that seldom get to be displayed in public

thank you because believe in me

thank you for the special treatment that i get everytime we chat

thank you for anything and everything

i know i always say this but i just gonna say it. I Love You.

Whether we are meant to be or not, i’ll always love you with all my heart and soul and you know that

much love,

the silly girl