Current Mood: Penat kerja

Current Song: Carry Out by Timberland feat. Justin Timberlake

*title can be very deceiving*

After 4 years of single life, i hope i can finally find someone to settle down, when i want to, when i have to, when i needed to.

But then, i realize that i’m too picky (for certain reason). Yeah. As i always does, i tends to analyse people. Because i had a very bad experience on dealing with humans.

Yesterday night, i was with Iqbal for quite a time before Iskandar came and join us at Serambi. Accompanied Iqbal who wanted to have dinner after his freaking tiring convo. Congrats agian sulu ๐Ÿ™‚

Well, there were this conversation which triggered this post…

Rahilah: Aku tak faham macam mana orang sekarang boleh fikir utk kawin muda.

Iqbal: Asl ek?

Rahilah: Tak tau la orang lain kan, tapi utk aku, diri aku sendiri pun tak terurus, ni kan lagi nak ade family and uruskan family and future kerjaya. Gila. Dua benda tu, mempunyai saiz kerja yg sama besar kot.

Iqbal: Tersangat la betul. Aku pun mcm tu jgk.

Point saya di sini, saya tak memperlekehkan orang kawin muda, seriously because my parents got married in young age. I once asked my mom, what did she missed out of all the years she been through, she said she missed the part of being young and happy and joyful. Nevertheless, she had all her time during her high school day and being a wife and mom does give her the joy as well, different kind she said. But, she always told me to complete my schools first, get a job, get a house and a car, then you may settle down. That’s why i hear no objection when i told her i wanna get married at the age of 28. She even told me, all that stuff matters when you jump into the marriage world because you can’t never predict what happen to it. Of course, you want to have a prefect marriage but in the reality, there are no such thing as perfect.

My next point gonna be abit more serious. Kids. Sume orang nak anak bile kawin kan. There’s no doubt about it. Tapi, there’s gonna be a problem when orang yg berkahwin tu tak memahami part menjadi seorang ibu bapa. Most parents yang bekerja fikir, dengan bagi anak anda makan and pakai yg cukup, tu dah equal tu kasih sayang. I found ramai gile parents around me berfikiran mcm tu. Well, its understandable yg anda bekerja, tapi at least, luangkan masa untuk anak anda. Kalo tak dapat pagi before pergi kerja, make sure that you are at home for dinner. Kalo tak dapat jgk, at least hug your daughter or son before dorg tido or waktu dorg tengah tido pun. They feel the love, especially kanak2 and anak2 remaja yg baru nak membesar. Another thing, there’s a thing called morale support which ibu and bapa sekarang tak ramai yg amik endah pun. For sure i can’t compared any parents out there with my parents. They’ve been with me and my brother practically all the time, for morale support. Maybe orang akan cakap, mak saya tak bekerja. Memang die tak bekerja, but tu bukan alasan. When there’s a will, there’s a way.

My parents puase everytime my brother and i had any major exams, without fail. They even went to send my brother every weekend when he enrolled to a football club when he wanted to play amatur. They sat there until he finished his training. They even support us when our basketball team joined any tournament. My mom walked with me 4 km to and fro my tuition centre for 2 years. She did that again with my dad during my brother’s time. They attended all our prize giving ceremony during school times, parents-teachers day. Usually my dad will take a leave for any important event. He said, there is nothing better that being proud of your own children accomplishment. My mom is the backbone for everything we owned today. They who make me strong till today. Now, you understand why i devastated when i had bad result. Its not about the money i owned my dad or my mom. Its because they fought the war with me and i failed them, sometimes badly.

Well, you might agree or do not agree with me. You might have your own opinion and thought about this. I shall leave you with mine. This is something that i consider so bad if i wanna be someone bride. You just don’t get married and live happily ever after. You have RESPONSIBILITIES. Your own parents, your in-laws, your work, your husband, your kids, your friends, yourselves. Maybe orang yang berfikir pasal ni, sebab tu die boleh decide untuk berkahwin. A phrase that i really remembered my mom always told me, ‘kalo ko kahwin, ko bukan kahwin dengan husband ko sorang je. You married his family, his life, his attitude…all of things that related to him’.

I hope if i am ready to involve in membina rumah tangga, i am ought to become like my mother and i am SERIOUSLY looking for a man that can share the common things like my dad. That’s why i become picky at the first place. After Zarul, i come to my senses that he’s not gonna be the one, eventhough i tried to block every little things that my mom told me why she dislikes him at the first place.

That’s all for a thoughtful entry. I miss writing something like this.

Bien ร  vous

Yours aye in the state of excited to go Genting! hehe ๐Ÿ˜€

p/s: sorry for the long entry



Laugh your heart out
Dance in the rain
Cherish the moment
Ignore the pain
live, laugh, love
forgive and forget
life’s too short to be living with regrets

Weekender <3

Current Mood: Enjoying the life

Current Song: Quicksand by Bethany Joy Galeotti

Started working last week. Do nothing actually. Just like the old work but even better this time because the company sell pumps for industrial usage. It reminds me a lot of Fluid Mechanics, Process Plant Engineering, Process Instrumentation and Control as well as Process Engineering Material classes. Haha. The charts, the graph…everything except the calculation that we usually do it manual, they have software to do that. Cool gile. Haha. I’m in my mood to read my intelectual stuff to impress my boss. Haha. But she’s an old timer man. Worked for Grundfos for 8 years before she started her own business 4 years ago. FYI, Grundfos is a Germany’s company for pumps manufacturing but sadly in Malaysia, they only done sales and services. Thank GOD my application for intern hari ya sik lulus. If not, i have to sell a pump! Oh tidak! I don’t sell things. I can’t! hehe.

I am going to be a part time teacher at the school near my house, gonna teach Science to the kids. Hopefully i can….hopefully. I know i am great of being a nerd but a teacher? Aku takut i just gonna shout at the kids like i shout at Jengga kalo dorg degil and malas. Huhu.

Celebrated Fairouszana’s 22nd birthday yesterday with Ain Ketot, Ben and Areen. Others dah start busy. Sedey wo…huhu. But, we had fun for sure. Dengan mee yang best and gossip2 yang hangat. Apologise Ketot untuk certain things yang aku terlepas cakap…hehe. I supposed to wake up early to go Proton Family day, held at Proton this time, which is boring. The last time i went to the family day when i was in Form 2 kot. I just wanna visited my dad’s new office but kinda lazy la. Haha.

the cuppies by Ain Ketot...thanx sayang

Went to Leonardo Da Vinci exhibition’s at Pusat Sains Negara today. My ticket was free due to MAS sponsor. Haha. Awesome kan ๐Ÿ˜€ ย but sadly no picture can be taken inside the exhibition. Huhu. Alot of things actually. The one that facinates Ben and i was the mechanical clock, using springs and gears. Cool gile. Some other things were the wings that Wright Brothers used as reference for their aeroplane, submarine gears, the secret of Mona Lisa (there are 25 secrets inside the picture), one of his famous painting (Virgin of the Rock), his sketches for human bodies in details and macam2 lagi. Kinda educational trip but i like. Hehe.

me in Da Vinci's Parallel Miror. Tangkap curi2 ni...hehe

well, that’s all for now. Hopefully something nice happen soon..

Bien ร  vous,

yours aye in healthy state ๐Ÿ™‚

p/s: changed my signature for this year. Its weird that people never ask me why i sign off my post with ‘without wax’. Without wax actually a literary meaning for sincerely. Sincerely derives from Spanish word, Sin cera = without wax. Its dated back to history when the artisan in Rome usually crafted the marble to build a statue or figure. They usually cover it up with wax if there is any deformation to the statue. Kinda nice kan ๐Ÿ™‚

i wonder…

I wonder a lot of things lately…that’s what you do when you have too many curiosity inside you.

But for me, i tends to just do the things that i curious of. It’s much better that way. You don’t waste your time to wonder.

Still, there is the price to pay for realizing my ‘wonder’ thought. Most of the time, it puts me in the position of testing my principles and believes. I’m not such a religious person. Sometimes, i found myself holding the principle ‘matlamat menghalalkan cara’ closed to my heart. Sure, i might sound crazy to any of you who reading this, but my dearie closed friend would understand why.

I tends to be too carefree. I don’t care what people thinks, i only care what my parents think. Sometimes, i don’t care at all. Well, i learn that you can’t just delete everything and live in the world like it is yours because it isn’t.

I really wanna open up about myself but i can’t because of my one and only fear, people’s impression. YES, i am afraid of people’s impression. Very much. I think it’s because i live in the neighbourhood that talks about other people. How a girl should behave, how you should wear your cloths, how you should act. I get fed up being controlled that way for 18 years. SERIOUSLY.

Plus, it’s a pressure when people knows your family. Too much. You not only carry your family expectation, but people who lives around you as well. I HAVE to perform well, be well and good because the people here look up to my family. The truth is i don’t care what people wanna say about me, but i CARE TOO MUCH on what they gonna say about my parents. They are my life. Yes, i am a veryย protective person. If the people here jenis tak amik kisah hal orang, i don’t mind at all. But, dorg ni sangat suka jaga tepi kain orang and menjaja jahat orang lain.

Sometimes, i really wanna scream and yell to this people to get out of my fucking life but…kite tinggal dekat kawasan yg berjiran. You can’t just ignore your neighbourhood for some reasons.

AND for all this, i have to put on a ‘mask’ to protect my family. It’s not something that i want to do,i have to instead.

Beginning of 2010

Celebrated 2010 a bit late compared to everyone in the world (except people in USA and South America).

Nearly 12 hours of outing. Still can’t bit the record during Valentine. Haha.

Went out with Iskandar, Ben, Areen and Fairous to One Utama.

Watched Shelock Holmes. Awesome and cool movie indeed. Go watch it to whoever haven’t watch it yet. 4.75 out of 5 stars. Haha. PLEASE WATCH IT!

Went to The Curve after that. Strolling along the pathway. Its raining. Kinda karma when four of us went out together. Haha.

Me, Areen and Fairous tried a dress at Esprit. FYI people, i’m a 12! GOD! 12!…gemuk nye. Huhu. Fairous is a 0..huhu. Jealous aku!

me in mess...haha. I love the dress!!!

*this dress is 14. I tried previous one, a 10, i can’t fit in. So, my conclusion is that i’m a 12. Hehe

Fairous as well gained a status in the family, Kak Long. Ben turun pangkat jadi Bang Ngah. Is as Ucu. Areen as Achik.

family of 2010 ๐Ÿ™‚

without wax,

yours truly in new year state ๐Ÿ™‚

The Right Man???

Current Mood: So happy for no reason

Current Song: The Right Man by Christina Aguilera (thanks to Mea darling, you introduced me to this song)

Since my new resolution is i wanna get married, i think its a time to reveal the guy(s) that had captured my heart long time ago. I’m in love with them, period. If you like to be mine, you have to top these 10 guys first, then you and i MAYBE can go for a fine dinner one day ๐Ÿ˜›

James Lafferty

Brendan Fehr

Channing Tatum

Josh Duhamel

Leonardo Di Caprio

Ryan Phillippe

Shane West

Taylor Lautner

Thomas Dekker

Ryan Reynolds

Top that, bitches! Haha

Anyway, i wanna make this a tag. Hehe. Therefore, i tag these 10 lovely ladies to pick up their 10 handsome man ๐Ÿ™‚

– Liyana

– Abby

– Mea

– Azureen

– Ain Ketot

– Syepah

– Dinash

– Peeya

– Wani Duckie

– Nadea Yaya

p/s: People, i know you might not have alot of time like me (because i’m such a lazy ass bum) but promise me you take time to do it ya ๐Ÿ˜‰