6 of my favourite songs

I like to listen to all these songs when i’m in my mellow mood. Hehe

Christina Aguilera – Save Me From Myself

Miguel Bose feat. Shakira – Si Tu No Vuelves

Mariah Carey feat. 98 Degrees and Joe

Beyonce Knowles – Dangerously In Love

Keyshia Cole – I Remember

Sheryl Crow – I Shall Believe

20th

I’m just the company for him to get over his boredness…

well…

i have the feeling i might end up being his companion only, nothing more.

another chapter in someone’s life is my whole book of feelings

19th

thank you for the dance…

we danced almost the whole night…

i know you’re not in a good shape yet but i hope i managed to get you out of that depressing mode.

will pray you get better and be fine soon, my cute little crush.

you literary made my day. no doubt about that 🙂

Gloomy day, gloomy heart, gloomy post

Current Mood: Jiwa kacau tak pasal2

Current Song: Private Emotion by Ricky Martin and Meja

Gloomy days leads to gloomy heart.

One of my friend once told me that wheather can really affect someone’s heart or someone’s heart can affected the wheather. Either way, i’m badly effected.

i heard a story last 2 days. a gloomy story. i was sad because it badly affected this one person that closed to me. I wish i can help. I think the only reason i can’t was because conflict of interest. I want the gloomy story to happen but in the same time, i hope it won’t. I can’t think straight anymore.

I wanna stop liking people. It makes me crazy with all the depressing thoughts and paranoid. Liking people who doesn’t like you back is seriously stupid, i know but i can’t control my heart and desire no?

Me and my heart, we ALWAYS have issues.

I just need to get focus on my assignments and study for another 2 test. I will be fine if i’m busy. I need my holiday to clear my imaginary thoughts of everything.

For once, i really really really wanna stop liking people.

Bien á vous

yours aye in the state of jiwa kacau

18th

*i’ve been paranoid alot. Its not good but i’m stuck in it. So yeah

*Stress is building up each and every day. I’m getting tired by it. Can’t wait to get over all these and go back home.

*i want nothing else but You but i know my wish won’t come true. Keep on dreaming about it Rahilah. Your favourite pastime

*i’m truly sorry for everything. i can’t help it. i like you alot. Give me a way, just one fucking way to get over you and i will do that.

*thank you for taking care of me since Abang left. i’ve realise i told you almost everything about me.

Whatever that is left in me

Current Mood: Content & calm…yet…

Current Song: Shadow of The Day by Linkin Park

Perfect song to explain my condition now.

I have nothing in specific to write but i just feel like blogging. So, here it goes.

Been so busy with schools and CFC. I have 3 major assignment (Risk Group Report, TP Assignment and PSD Project) to due and 3 major test (Risk Test 2, PSD Test and MTO Test 2) to sit before heading to the study week. Time fly so fast i can’t even recall any specific event that happen in between.

Truly sorry to my Geologian friends. I know i’ve been skipping alot of get together events with you guys. Honestly, i feel left out but yeah. There’s nothing i can do to change that, can’t i? Will try my best to make it up to you guys later on ok 🙂

I wasn’t really devastated that Abang is no longer here with me but i know he’s not around. For the past 4 years, i feel prefectly good in doing anything because i know i have a person to count on, to fall off if anything happen. I feel like i’m loosing half of myself now. The same feeling i had when i came to Miri, back in 2006. I left my dearie good brother for Curtin. Its sucks like hell when you just being cut off from your siblings, despite having all means of communication. I still want my dearie brother and Abang to be with me, in flesh.

I realised i don’t talk much about football this sem. I’m tired of it honestly. Dog tired. The same feeling i had when i was in my third semester in CIS committee. Its a sign to move on, for sure. It just that i can’t seems to leave my work to anyone else currently. No one wanna handle money for sure. I’m still in the search of  The One to replace me next sem. I supposed to leave the post this semester but the current president want me and Abby to be in the committee. Talk about peope trust in me. I’m scared of that. Scared of the trust. That’s why i try so hard to complete my work every week. I’m at where i am today because of people trust in me. But, for certain, CIS and CFC gives me much joy and happiness. The happiness of seeing people coming together for the event, appreciation from other people. It means so much to me.

Personal life is at stake currently. I keep on liking a guy that belong to someone else. I seriously don’t indulge that for sure. Been labelling myself as a bitch. I want to cut all the communication and move on but, this time around, i have a really sensitive person as a crush. Its just hard but i don’t want to hurt his feeling, not even a single scratch. He’s been treating me well, much much better than all the previous crushes i have before. Not that i wanna compare or anything, but he does care about how i feel, different from all the other crushes of mine. For once, i really want him as my bf. But given the thought of how bad i am as a person, i guess he’s way better with his current gf. I don’t really deserve any good guy at all.

For sure, i can’t wait for 28th June. Will be going back to KL on that date. And apology to Mas because won’t be able to attend your wedding babe. Huhu. Need to find placement for my intern for end of this year. Hopefully i’ll be able to do it in Shah Alam. I consider Miri as my last resort though. Gonna enjoy the holiday to the fullest this time because Sulu is going to Australia early July. Finally, one of my genius closed friend completing his degree overseas. I’m gonna miss him soon.

My brother will be leaving to UK soon, insyaAllah if everything goes as plan. I’m so proud of him. He got what he wishes for all this while. So jealous of him. His determination pay off. I don’t really have that drive in me anymore. The only thought that makes me moving forward now is completing my degree and start work. That’s all. I’ve decided not to go to Perth for my final year. As much as i really wanna go, i guess my destiny is here, in Miri.

That’s all for now i guess.

Bien á vous

yours aye in the state of confusion