Reflection of Semester 1, 2010

*i didn’t perform well in my studies. Really bad. I hope my result gonna be ok. That’s all

*had the biggest personal complex problem

*totally over the ex, after 5 years. FINALLY!!!!

*went to club and party much

*my last semester as the CFC Treasurer! Gonna miss the life of sitting and watching my favourite guys kicking ball in the evening.

*played basketball, played netball after 9 years, played touch rugby which i love the most, i skipped the futsal this semester (sorry housemates 😦 )

*over enjoyed myself (kareoke sessions)

*got Bantuan Pinjaman Pelajaran from MARA to finish up my degree

*Thank you Sayang for being a part of my life now 🙂

*shops alot too.

Self-reminder

I thought i was doing something right, instead i was being knocked on my own damn face. Haha

I don’t know whether i should laugh or cry. Really.

I was wrong to do all that. Maybe i don’t tried hard enough to really do what i supposed to do. Its the mistake i choose to do i guess.

i wanna get over all these ASAP

The devil’s in me said its not that i never done something like this before. I was ok back then. It was a sweet revenge.

BUT this time,

i’ve destroyed people’s hope and feelings.

this time….

i am really a BITCH

23rd

MTO down…thank you for not being so bitch on me like TP. At least, i hope i get a distinction for you.

I really really really can’t wait to go home. I miss my mom alot lately. And the crazy brother too. And daddy as well.

BUT

i’m abit reluctant to go this time. Will be missing having someone around. Just that i don’t think that person gonna miss me at all. So yeah.

I’m upset with my current online purchase. Haven’t arrived yet!!!!! It never been this way before. Need to call the Postlaju people tomorrow. Hopefully my stuff is here.

22nd

TP just sucks…

i hope i pass that unit.

don’t wanna meet Mr Agus next year…

i hope MTO will be good to me…but, you’ll never know how bitch a paper can be…so yeah…praying for the best now…

i’m have no thoughts and no feelings lately. ironic isn’t it? although i have someone that care of me but i feel like there’s a missing pieces somewhere.

i can’t wait to go back home…i need to clear my brain and head and have fun….

wish i can do it sooner

Life

Zura wrote a beautiful note to me…

it sounds like this….

‘Hill,

Wish you every happiness. Life is EASY, you make CHOICES and don’t turn back’

i never really get her words on that day….until i read it again yesterday. I posted it on my room’s wall. I read it thrice…then it really hits me…

Life is EASY. CHOICES are what makes your life.

Choose to be good or bad.
Choose to be better or worst.
Choose to be silent or loud.
Choose to be calm or hyper.
Choose to be sad or happy.

If we love alot of choices when we go shopping, in life, we don’t really want alot of choices sometimes.

If you choose a wrong dress or shirt, you can just change it or give it to someone else.

If you choose a wrong choice in life, you can’t just pass it or make it right, isn’t it?

I do think sometimes i make a wrong decision because i just want to know how wrong can the wrong decision be. I know its sound stupid or illogical but my curiousity beats everything else. True, most of the wrong decision is wrong. Never do things that people say is wrong. Its not worth it.

Kak jam will always say this to me, ‘Hill, choose a path that Allah likes the most, not you like the most’. The solution to all the choices that i have to make. Simple one.

BUT

till today, i don’t live by that rule most of the time. There’s the time i do what i think is right to me rather than what i think is right in God’s point of view.

Such a bad servant i am.