Jokes of the Day

Beruang, Singa dan Babi bertemu di hutan…

Beruang kata: “sekali ja aku mengaum, seluruh hutan menggigil.”

Singa kata: “eleh, sekali ja aku mengaum semua belantara ketakutan.”

Babi kata: “Wa La Weh…. sekali ja aku batuk, satu dunia panik!”

 

 

lame jokes

what does

Galileo Galilei, who found the theory of sun as the center of the earth

and

Osborne Reynolds, who pioneer in understanding fluid dynamics

has a common in chemical engineering?

the answer is

freaking dimensionless number!

They just a constant in my life. Haha

 Ga = \frac{g \cdot L^3}{\nu^2} Galileo number

 \mathrm{Re} = {{\varrho {\bold \mathrm V} D} \over {\mu}} = {{{\bold \mathrm V} D} \over {\nu}} = {{{\bold \mathrm Q} D} \over {\nu}A} Reynolds number.

Both of these numbers are important to determine the free falling velocity of a particle. (Fluid and Particle Processes, Sem 2, 2009)

p/s: i know its lame people. Haha. 3rd week baru ni

on the lighter note

TO ALL STRESS PEOPLE OUT THERE…spare a bit of your time to do this unstress thing. Have fun 🙂

This one was too good to pass up!

Pick the month you were born:
January——-I kicked
February——I loved
March——–I karate chopped
April———-I licked
May———-I jumped on
June———-I smelled
July———–I did the Macarena With
August——–I had lunch with
September—-I danced with
October——-I sang to
November—–I yelled at
December—–I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a snowman
6——-a gangster
7——-my mobile phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbour
11——-my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18——-a spoon
19—— – a smurf
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-my sister
27——-my brother
28——-an iPod
29——-a surfer
30——-a homeless guy
31——-a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1——— In my car
2 ——— On your car
3 ———– In a hole
4 ———– Under your bed
5 ———– Riding a Motorcycle
6 ——— sliding down a hill
7 ——— in an elevator
8———- at the dinner table
9 ——– In line at the bank
0 ——– in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White———because I’m cool like that
Black———because that’s how I roll.
Pink———–because I’m NOT crazy.
Red———–because the voices told me to.
Blue———–because I’m sexy and I do what I want
Green———because I think I need some serious help.
Purple———because I’m AWESOME!
Gray———-because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange——–because my family thinks I’m stupid anyway.
Brown———because I can.
Other———-because I’m a Ninja!
None———-because I can’t control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made in my comment

*mine : I karate chopped a banana at the dinner table because i’m sexy and i do what i want.

lawak otak kuning

Current Mood: I wanna break from my working day 😦

Current Song: Rehab by Rihanna

I got this jokes from a dearie friend of mine, Izzat. Tell u the truth, when i go through the questions, i was a bit ‘otak kuning’ jugak la. Haha. Have fun with the jokes, people 🙂

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut : “Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?”

Lalu Abu menjawab, “Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!”.

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9
Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, “Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6”, Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, “Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?”. Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
Abu: (berfikir) Kaki

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?
Abu: Saku

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf “K” akhir dengan “A”, ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?
Abu: Kelapa

Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna “pink”, bila keluar lembik dan melekit?

Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, siAbu terus menjawab.

Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?

Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Bersalaman

Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?
Abu: Baik Cikgu

Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.

Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.

Abu: Khemah

Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.

Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.

Abu: Cincin perkahwinan

Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.

Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.

Abu: Hidung

Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.
Abu: Anak panah

Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?
Abu: Okay

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and end in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Abu: Firetruck

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
Abu: Fork

Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It’s longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
Abu: Surname

Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?
Abu: Heart

Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata “Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya; jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah”.

P/s: Jika jawapan anda semua salah, anda adalah sama spesies dengan pengetua yang mempunyai pemikiran kuning…..hehehe

A black man joke

Current Mood: Wanna do laundry

Current Song: Change Cloth by Jay-Z feat Pharell Williams

A Black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, ‘Coloured people are not allowed here.’

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

‘When I was born, I was black, ‘
‘When I grew up, I was black, ‘
‘When I’m sick, I’m black, ‘
‘When I go in the sun, I’m black, ‘
‘When I’m cold, I’m black, ‘
‘When I die, I’ll be black.’
‘But you, sir…’

‘When you’re born, you’re pink, ‘
‘When you grow up, you’re white, ‘
‘When you’re sick, you’re green, ‘
‘When you go in the sun, you turn red, ‘
‘When you’re cold, you turn blue, ‘
‘And when you die, you’ll turn purple.’
‘And you have the nerve to call me colored?’

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away

p/s: I AM NOT RACIST. this is simply a joke 🙂

Ramadhan Jokes

doa tahan puasa:

doa ini sesuai di baca di siang hari-

allahuma baringsana wabaringsini wadahlapar wamaumati
wamasukdapur belumada apapa walihat jam masihlama lagi wakena tahanlagi

AMINNNNNN

selepas 5 minit kalau masih lapar

doa kedua

wataktahan wamakan

AMINNNNNNNNN

just a joke 😛

courtesy by Mohammed Ashraf Mohammed Sabri

rahilah♥

Jokes of The Day

Current mood: Happy in disguise

Current song: Outrageous by Britney Spears

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
“My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610″

====================================

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

==========================================

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.

=========================================

Ah Beng : People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

===========================================

Ah Beng complained to the police: “Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.”
Police: “How the thief did not take TV?”
Ah Beng : “I was watching TV news…”

=========================================

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying “Parking Fine”
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for compliment.”

=============================================

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

===============================================

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

===============================================

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man – This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng – If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

===============================================

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is “u will go to jail”

===============================================

Ah Beng told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It’s already raining.”
Ah Beng : “So what? Take an umbrella and go.”

===============================================

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

just a joke 😀

till next entry

rahilah♥