How can i?

How can i tell him how much he means to me?

How can i tell him that being in love with him is the greatest thing that ever happen to me?

How can i tell him that he smiles always melt my heart away?

How can i tell him that leaving him is not my option?

How can i tell him that he is the best i ever had?

How can i tell him that no matter what he did, it won’t change my feelings towards him?

How can i tell him that i missed being with him although he doesn’t feel the same way?

How can i tell him that i think about him every single second, every single day and i hope that he has the same thought too?

How can i tell him that i’m in love with him when he doesn’t even like me?

How can i tell him?

How can i?

the situation

i walked into a place

i was not expecting You to be there but i wish for it

i walked into another place

i thought i was dreaming because i saw YOU in front of me. Its been a while.

I had the most love i can get from YOU yesterday, which i adore so much. Although YOU broke my heart by saying the word, its ok. I understand.

While i’m having thousands of fun with YOU, You came into picture.

Between You and YOU, i’m caught in the middle and confused.

Feel guilty to You. I hope this won’t change us

I like You and YOU but i know i won’t be getting You and YOU.

Damn!

I hate this feeling

Being 22 is awesome! (editted with pics)

Sorry for the late post. I’m waiting for the pics on my birthday celebration but none of them uploaded it yet. So, i just gonna write on the occasion okay ๐Ÿ™‚

1st celebration: Cutting cake with March Freaks at Curtin Village.

Been a tradition for the past 3 years, the March people celebrate the birthday together. Me, Syepah, Asha, Ammar, Islah, and Mau. Thank you to Villagers for the cake ๐Ÿ™‚

my bff

2nd celebration: Housemates sang Happy Birthday Song.

One of the best present this year. At 12 am of 12 March, they went to my room and sang a birthday song for me. Saya sangat terharu and gembira in the same time. Thank you housemates (Liyana, Mira, Jiji, Nini and Iffah). Love you girls alot! ๐Ÿ™‚

3rd celebration: Dinner with 13 girls at Citrus.

3 cars convo. My dinner was fully supported by the girls. Thank you so much. Pics session. Cakap merepek2 regardless Kak Jam around. Haha. Ice cream panas ek TC…hehe. *Liyana, Mira, Kak Jam, TC, Syepah, Asha, Annur, Jiji, Put, Nini, Dila and Jiha*

Dila

Jiha

Lyanne babe

kak jam

Mira

Asha

yours truly

Syepah

Jiji babe

Putri

Nini cayang

Annur

TC, the photographer =)

i like this pic, despite i look fat and ugly

4th celebration:ย Karaoke session at Season.

Went there after the dinner. Kak Jam, Asha, Liyana and Mira tak follow. Sayang betul. Yang lain, karok tak ingat dunia punya. Haha. Lepas tension, lepas gian. Hehe

5th celebration: Phone call from my sayangs in Perth.

This was really a suprise. Tengah syok2 karok tu, ade no Aussie naik. I thought of my Boo tapi agak kelakar la kalo die call sebenarnye. Turned out to be betul. Haha. Boo, Sayang and Smap! Thank you for the birthday song and phone call! Really sweet! I was literary cried outside the karok room. Thank you so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

6th celebration: Balcony

Went there with Nadea, Abang and sorang lelaki yg tak boleh di’mention’ di sini utk mengelakkan controversy. Felt good dapat jejak dance floor balik. 3 bulan di Shah Alam, Royal family tak bawa pergi club sebab dorang suruh behave. Hehe. Well, i’m not a frequent clubber pun. Pergi bile rasa nak pergi. Dah penat, pegi Rasa Segar makan nasi lemak.

7th celebration: March Engineers Celebration at Siamese Secret.

Started this last year. Since Nadzim, me, Nina and Asfan born in March, we celebrated sekali la sume. Hehe. With addition of May and Azura. The best thing at Siamese Secret is the pizza. We ordered 3 large pizza. Haha. Had fun chatting and rambling because most of us were no longer meet each other everyday like we used to. Dollah and Jengga je takda malam tu. The Nasir’s family.

Nina & Nadzim

May, Asfan & Azura

Hadiah tahun ini adalah seperti di bawah:

Watch from Viki, my coursemate yg baik hati

Hoop Earing from dearie Sylvia

Lovely choker from Kak Jam

Cute little card from Putri

Batu ni dari Larry. Geologist tolong analyse.

THANK YOU so much for the wishes, treats and presents. Means alot to me ๐Ÿ™‚

the closing event for this holiday

Current Mood: Malas nak packing balik Miri

Current Song: Jangan Kau Ucap Selamat Tinggal by Shades (tangkap nangis punya lagu)

16 February 2010, Hana’s 22nd birthday celebration kat Secret Recipe USJ 9 andย Karaoke kat Summit.

Farhan yg buat muke extreme comel & Hazizi yg agak psycho

Fadhil perasan macho

Nadia & Naim

Tarmizi yg sentiase comel

Birthday Girl, Hana

dalam karaoke room

pic favourite

Haha. Mesti tertanya-tanye nape dengan Farhan tu pic favourite. Presenting….

Ex crush aku selama 4 tahun time sekolah menengah. 1 class dengan die dari Form 1. Menepati semua ciri2 aku nak. A hell of good guy. Family aku approve kot mamat ni (dalam ramai2 lelaki yg aku prnh suke, including ex aku, Farhan sorang je yg dapat approval. Bayangkan baiknye die pada mata family aku). Haha. Sayangnye, die la x berkenan dengan aku. Form 4, aku confess aku ade hati kat die. Tau ape reaction die? Tak cakap dengan aku 3 bulan. Die la lelaki pertama buat aku nangis. Haha. Still sampai sekarang, aku sayang kat die, sebagai seorang kawan yg sejati n murni. Sume member die panggil die Syarif. Name penuh Ahmad Farhan Syarif. Aku je sorang yg panggil Farhan.

All in all, aku had great time hari tu. Mane taknye, dah lepas habis karaoke, lepak kat Carlos USJ 9 tu sampai pukul 1 pagi. Farhan la tukang hantar balik. Tu yg aku sentiasa syg die lebih tu. Hehe.

19 February 2010, the Royal’s outing. Makan Satay kat RnR Gutherie, Strolling down the Curve until 1 am, lepak McD until 2 am (sebab Izzat ada class pagi besok. Potong betul la ‘uncle’ ni…haha)

The Royal family ๐Ÿ™‚

Cuti aku sangat fun kali ni. Every weekend tak lekat rumah. Ade je keluar pegi mane2. Sampai Abah bising tak lekat rumah. Mak aku dah biasa dah aku kena marah. Bila Abah aku bunyi, memang pedih sikit la. Haha. Tapi yang penting, rata-rata aku keluar, atas duit gaji aku or orang belanja kecuali bulan December, tu kebas duit adik kesayangan aku RM 50. Haha. Survive je aku kat sini RM 50. Kat Miri, RM 500 sebulan tu nyaris tak cukup kot kadang2.

Untuk cuti kali ni, aku berterima kasih kat Royal family…hehe. Banyak time we spent together kan, directly and indirectly. Thank you layankan kepala gile aku. Balik bulan 7, kite buat plan lagi ok. Kerat2 Hicomian member aku jgk yg ade tersesat join. Sorry la tak dapat nak find time buat activity banyak dengan korang sebab korang dah masuk uni. Thanx to USJian member aku jugak, aku dapat jumpe member2 yg berbeza clan. Lama x lepak dengan korang kan. Mirian member aku yg datang rumah hari tu, thank you melawat teratak buruk saya. Hehe. Lastly to family aku la kan sebab menahan karenah mempunyai aku di rumah. Mak aku dah puluh kali marah pun aku buat bodoh jgk, adik aku pun. Haha. Mak aku rindu aku la for sure. Takde org nak layan die gossip bile aku balik. Hehe.

Till we meet again bulan 7 Shah Alam, i bid you farewell

Miri, please give me a warm welcome ya (kerja dah menimbun dah, warm gile…haha)

bien ร  vous,

yours aye in state of packing her stuff and heart to Miri ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Surprising yet Awesome weekend!

Current Mood: Rasa nak demam…huhu

Current Song: Officially Missing You by Tamia

Before aku story what happen for this weekend, i really wanna say Thank You God coz giving all these opportunities. Seriously, without You, none of these will happen. Truly bless with all the happening stuff. Alhamdulillah.

Sume ni actually x sepatutnye jadi. I’ve cancelled the Genting plan on Thursday because Iskandar tak lepas nak keluar. Mak die kadang2 can be a bit over protective. Yela, anak lelaki sorang, bongsu pulak tu. Memang la. Usually, kalo kitorg keluar berempat, which is aku, Ben, Is and Areen, yang bermasalah nak dapat permission in Areen and Is. Areen anak sulung perempuan. Truthfully, memang susah jgk kitorg nak keluar. Tu yg jarang dapat invite others tu. Sorry ek.

Friday Evening.

Last day of work for the week. Dah settle down on perancangan yg tak menjadi for the weekend, i was thinking about the backup plan. Tetibe msg masuk pukul 12.30 pm…

From: 017-3534793

U abis kerja pukul berape?

Damn! the ex boyfriend. Huhu. Dah la a day before aku gado tak pasal2 dengan die. Then, i’ve replied the msg.

Finish work at 5.30 pm. Nape?

Jom lepak2…

Otak aku ligat gile pusing…mamat ni kena santau ke, demam kapialu ke ape…kitorg x jumpe face to face almost 1 year. Everytime i wanna meet him, ade je alasan die, which kadang2 munasabah, kadang2 tak. Well, since i’m so eager to meet him, aku replied the msg. Asked him where he wants to lepak2, he asked me to decide. I said, lepak dekat2 my house jela since he said he wanted to go back home straight after meeting me. He said ok. Then, 2.30 pm, ade msg masuk lg. I thought its gonna be from Iskandar, turn out to be the ex..

Kite tengok wayang jom?

I was like WTF???? dah lama tak jumpa, ajak aku tengok wayang. Sengal sungguh. I asked when, he replied petang ni. Well, macam orang mengantuk di sorongkan bantal, i agreed to all his plan.

Sungguh aku tak tipu, i was nervous. As always. He’s the only person yg boleh buat aku rase butterfly in my stomach. Takde org lain lagi for now. Maybe kalo ade, that would be my upcoming bf la kot. We went to Summit, ate McD for dinner and watched The Spy Next Door. Simple night, which i miss so much to have it with him. Just the chat and to look into his eyes. I can’t explain the feeling. I told him that this hangout is his present to me for this year’s birthday. He just smiled.

Him

Upon all this and from past and present thought, i think all my close friend knows my problem with him. But instead, i decided to stay in this madness. I decided i won’t leave him at all. Don’t ask me to change my decision but keep on remind me that i choose to be in this way. Please ๐Ÿ™‚

Saturday Morning.

Since the Genting plan got cancel, i do what i have to do every Saturday morning, which is teaching kids on science. I’ll blog more about this later on. Tengah bersiap2 tu, tetibe msg masuk, 9.30 am…

From: Boyfie (Iskandar)

Kite gerak dalam pukul 12, bwk sweater. In case naik genting.

Aku termenung sebelum reply like this…

Ko biar betul…sound areen and ben la. Gerak lambat sikit, aku kena mengajar ni. Dalam 12.30 pm.

Aku mengajar kanak2 tu pasal Light. Tajuk yang agak susah untuk di’explain’ kepada kanak2 yg range umurnye between 9 to 17 years old, but seriously, i tried my best to make them understand. Dorang suke sangat experiment. Sedar2 dah pukul 11.45 am. Aku balik rumah dengan cepatnye sambil check msg…ade 1 when i thought it was from Boyfie lg, turn out to be from Izzat…

Cha…nak follow la…bole tak?

Aku dengan rela hatinye terus call Izzat, explain all the further plan. Die ckp die nak follow. Aku terus call Iskandar lepas tu. Confirmkan everything. Then, by 12.30 pm, gerak from my house, aku, Izzat and Iskandar. Amik Ben and Areen. Kami pun naik la ke Genting..

Uncle Izzat

Balong @ Ben

Iskandar @ Boyfie

yours truly

Areen

us =)

Flying Coaster yg buat aku semput nyawa

Venice Gandola

More other pic inside my facebook ๐Ÿ™‚

Dinner at Big Plate. Memang banyak kot makanan die. Sumpah. Sangat banyak. Huhu.

Ayam Shah Alam...me & Areen's. Half bird tu. Seriously sedap.

Boyfie with Mixed Grill

Balong with makanan yg buat die rase mcm kambing

Izzat with Burger Beef

Genting tamat pada pukul 10.30 malam. Lepak rumah Ben kejap since family die takda. Settle hutang makan, minyak & tol dengan Is. Is hantar Areen balik, i’m with Ben and Izzat.

Saturday Midnight.

Dah hantar Izzat balik rumah becoz gf die dah buat 48 miscall, i was out with Ben to Carefour Subang Jaya, to pick up someone and melepak. That someone ade kena mengena dengan Ben la. I was out all night because my dad called me during the dinner, said that he and mommy kat rumah Kak Long Tembam kat Keramat. Daddy tak bgtau pun i have to go to my cousin’s house. My brother pun tak cakap pape. So, i were free like a bird that night. Memang ronggeng la aku.

Lepak dekat Carlos USJ 9. I wanna meet someone yg dah lama tak jumpe. I texted Farhan, my USJian friend. He was with Hana, my bestie and Naim dekat Tanjung USJ 9, which selang 3 buah kedai je dari Carlos tu…haha. Met them, borak tepi jalan. Best seyh dapat jumpe dorg. Its been awhile pun.

Lepas dekat Carlos, kitorg pegi jumpe Areen kat USJ 23. Personal stuff. Hantar Areen balik rumah, we went to McD Section 26. Chatting non stop sampai pukul 7.00 am. Lepas tu, follow Ben hantar mamat tu balik rumah die kat USJ 1 then, i’m back at my house and on my bed around 7.30 am. Kunci jam untuk bangun 1.00 pm because nak pegi kenduri kawin kakak Fairous.

Sunday Mid Evening.

Pergi kenduri kakak Fairous with Areen, Ben and Is. Met Aina, Ain Ketot, Zayid, Farhana, my ex, Qayum and Fidot. Hehe. Almost all the people aku nak jumpe cuti ni, dah terjumpa.

We ended up looking for cendol after that, tapi xde. Huhu. Balik dengan hati hampa.

Overall, i had fun sangat weekend ni. More than i asked for. I just want Genting because its for Ben’s bday and convo celebration. hehe. Well, i think everyone who joined the journey felt the same way as i am.

That all for now

Bien ร  vous

yours aye in going to demam state but had thousands of fun ๐Ÿ˜€

Dearie Bro 20th Bday

Current Mood: Excited for the weekend

Current Song: Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo

Happy 20th birthday. May all your wishes come true. I love you alot

bien ร  vous

yours aye in state of extrem happiness ๐Ÿ˜€

p/s: hopefully pegi genting sabtu ni, i have weddings to attend sunday morning and replacement class sunday evening